Ou Est Le WC?

No fish in the first shot...

Today started by playing our new favorite game. Catch a picture of the flying fish. The island has these little white fish, that will jump out of the water like skipping stones; one group, then the next, then another (maybe playing leapfrog almost) It's very cool, and it seems like something easy enough to grab a picture of because you can see them building up to it in the water. However, turns out they are more difficult to capture than we expected. Both Kat and I have spent hours holding the camera trying to video evidence of these buddies. Today, I was 'maybe' successful. I don't know that I would go that far, but here you can see what we captured.

Best snap of the group

Kat and I have been using the shared bathroom up the walk, because we thought our room had no toilet and this was like a camping type situation. Seemed a realistic possibility. This morning, I walk in and open the door that I thought housed the water heater... Nope, It's a toilet! Seriously, how many trips did we make outside thinking this wasn't here? (also, that's mostly true, but a little bit a lie. We did spend the first day thinking there was no toilet and using the communal Water Closet, but I forgot earlier and still wanted to share the story. We solved this mystery before going to bed on day 1 - Thankfully.)

The rest of the day we spent snorkeling, first in the outer lagoon, and then in the inner. I had big ideas to sight the ray that everyone has mentioned to us. We headed off in that direction, and saw... literally nothing. One small reef full of fish, and our new Canadian friends Leanne and Patrick walking to their over water bungalow. Probably for the best we didn't see anything though, Patrick told us the next day that he saw a Blacktip Reef shark circling under their house in the waters we were swimming.

The lance-headed smiling fish are the 'Unicorn' fish!!
(They aren't on this chart of fishes)

We however (fortunately) decided to leave the outer lagoon and swim with the fish stocked in the inner lagoon. Kat giggled so hard under her snorkel as different fish swam up to her face, particularly these lance-headed creatures that had temperament smiley faces. We eventually floated towards the restaurants, and just stood under the awnings while countless fish circled around us. Finally, one of the carp actually nipped at my fingers, and we decided to leave. Floating under the main pier, we saw the biggest fish of the whole stay, and then continued onward toward our beach. 

This guy gave us a thumbs up during their shoot. 
Not the same couple from today.

After a quick rain shower, the flying fish spent a while skimming the top of the water for the things that were churned up in the water. Kat grabbed some of these pics while I decided to even out my tan on one of the loungers. Laying topless and relaxing, I was suddenly alerted to a couple's presence at the chapel, due to the sound of the drone overhead. We've seen multiple people next door commemorating their nuptials with this experience, I just didn't expect it today, with the rain. I frantically message and call Kat to help me robe up and not disrupt their ceremony, but that went ignored. Eventually the couple left, I put my bath robe back on, and walked inside to ask where she was. I was greeted with mostly guffaws and laughter as she recognized what had happened while reading over her phone's messages.

You Know I'm all about that Bass in your Walk

The hotel here also functions as a turtle hospital and sanctuary, so part of the island is dedicated to the rescue, rehab, and release of sea turtles. Today we joined in the morning feeding and learned a bit more about green sea turtles. I learned 2 new facts. 

• First, Green Sea Turtles, like the ones at the hotel, are brown until they fully mature. When asked why this might be, my obvious response (that the turtles fall into ooze during adolescent and start practicing martial arts) was wrong. Turns out the turtles are carnivores while they young where mature animals are herbivores, and their body color changes to reflect the now green diet they consume.
• Second, turtle mating happens for about 20 consecutive days in a year. A female lays

  

  Is anyone having fun?

  multiple groups of eggs, typically totaling 1000 at a time. However to mate, the male turtle approaches the female, uses his tail to maneuver the shell, latches on, then leaves... Followed very quickly by another male turtle. The guide told us that it is not uncommon for female turtles to drown during this period because they don't come up for air. She then joked that we just learned 2 things - It's not great to be a female sea turtle, and it's even worse to be a male sea turtle after a few beverages (see picture)

We then went on to feed the turtles in the hospital and watch the staff clean the baby turtles they were caring for, which were pretty adorable.

I need to figure out how to load vids from my phone,
And not just pictures that look like they have a play button

Next, Kat and I swimsuited up and went off to try the other pool at the hotel. We enjoyed the warm bath water alone for a while, but were eventually joined by this young looking couple that was celebrating their 20 Wedding Anniversary! I guess maybe it's cause now I'm older, but these two didn't look older than me to be married for so long, so I told them that. And, of course I told them by making inappropriate jokes about how she must have been his child bride. The two didn't miss a beat, first the husband says that it was a bit of a shotgun wedding, and his wife follows up with "Not that it needed to be, my dad is just always holding his gun."

We then went and swam in the lagoon a bit, where I decided it was time to pick off my nail polish. Thanks Robyn for trying, they lasted 7 days longer than I typically last with nail polish, for a total of 8 days.

Print picture, cutout shapes,
add extra squares?

I, then, was pretty certain that I needed a nap, and went back to the room. Turns out that I didn't need a nap, I needed to watch the new season of RuPaul's drag race and play some puzzle. This puzzle has a lot of neat colors, but also a few oddities about it. It is an "Escape Room" puzzle, meaning that it has a secrete meaning in the picture that will then lead to another puzzle when we finish putting it together. This also means, that the instructions in the box said "Puzzle will not look like picture on box". What? hmmm. Additionally, there are a bunch of square pieces in the box that are not puzzle pieces. The instructions in the box said to sort these out... and throw them away. Now, I'm not sure what it takes to make a puzzle, but I am pretty certain it might be easier to just not make those pieces in the first place.

To wrap up tonight, we tried eating at the healthy food restaurant. This was fun for a couple reasons. First, it is the only air conditioned restaurant in the whole place, and it is relatively new. Being a new addition to the hotel, we were literally the only people in the place. Second reason, our server was adorable. After seating us, she asks what kind of music we want to listen to, seeing as we are the only people in the place. Neither Kat nor I had much thoughts on picking a music choice, and instead ask the server what she liked to hear. She kind of perks up and this, and then asks if it is ok to play Meghan Trainor. Yeah love, do whatever you want. The food was great, but made even better by the seated dance party we shared for the rest of the meal in our practically private restaurant.

No Loo Rolls

Wow. Big day. First day of the meal plan, which means we got to experience a fantastic breakfast buffet. We came around to be greeted by countless locals parroting "La Orana" (which will be the theme of the stay, I'm pretty certain.) Once again, we were seated along side the water's edge. However this time there were pellets that looked like either fish food or brown sugar cubes. To make sure I was thoughtful of the local wildlife, I licked a few squares of the brown meal... Definitely not sugar. And Kat and I started throwing the breakfast to the fishes.

We were seated next to these two adorable kids, the older girl wearing a USA soccer jersey :) Her younger brother handed a cup of fish food, that he delicately threw into the lagoon, one. piece. at. a. time. I watched and giggled at the two kids interacting with nature, when one of the servers pointed at the dish on the table. She told me it was also fish food... and not for eating (like I had tried.) I asked if she had seen me question the foodworthyness, but she said no - accompanied by a very knowing look.

Known as Pocket Monsters in Japan

After finishing breakfast, we went to one of the pools to start swimming finally. I chose pool instead of salt because yesterday I dipped my toes in and discovered a blister on my heel. The kids from breakfast followed, and were joined by another little buddy and his dad, Serge, from Canada. The kids played pokemon in the pool, which was soo impressive because even when I've been the dungeon master in a game I didn't remember as many details about different attributes as those children knew about the evolution of fictional creatures.

We went on to try paddleboarding. Kat does this regularly, and I have on the rare occasion. I fully recognizing that I'm not good at it. The 'Beach Boy' pulls our boards out, Kat gets on, stands up, and shoves off into the water. I on the other hand, get a lesson on how to do this. 

1. Start on hands and knees
2. Pull feet up
3. Stand flat footed (keeping your palms on the board...)
4. Lift from your knees to be fully erect
5. Stay standing, looking at the horizon

Great instructions. After falling off a few times I was even given an example to visualize a bit more... Let me tell you, the flaw was that my leggz are so tight that I couldn't even stand flat footed with my palms on the board to get in the right orientation. Eventually, I fell so often, and there was a line of others waiting to push off, that I just sat on the board and never tried standing again. 

Kat and I walk back to our chairs, and are greeted by multiple people that had observed the free entertainment I provided. Even still, we've made more acquaintances from my "fan club" than I think we realized were observing me on the beach. First of all though, was an Australian woman that we chatted with for a while. She told us that she and her partner were on their way out in the next day or so, but that they were returning to a country with no "Loo Rolls" because some idiot on The Facebook started a rumor that the toilet paper from China had Coronavirus. There is a national shortage of TP in Australia because of this... Little did they know, Australia produces their own toilet paper. Literally all the stores threw their supplies out, not even knowing where it came from. We were sad they weren't going to be around for more of our stay.

Both of us, having been diligent with the sunscreen, sat outside on our beech to read or use the computer (me). Kat eventually, went snorkeling off our beech, to see the life aquatic around us. Later I followed, but not after more sunscreen, because while being diligent with the applications, I still turned a shade of bright lobster that I could now commune with some of the other Canadians at the resort. 

I'm lucky to have toes

Before heading inside for dinner, we both showered at the offshoot outside. I naively walk up to push the button on the shower, unaware of my surroundings. Only to be instantly surprised by something scuttering around the sandy floor. Shrieks, followed by "Ah!! Crab!!" were heard from our hut, but Kat was quick enough to grab a phone and come snap some photos. I'm not sure if it was the face, but what this little buddy portrayed as a facade was hilarious. Sooo Mean, but comical. 

We started one of the 2 puzzles I packed for us, then headed off to dinner. Surprisingly enough, we showed up to the wrong restaurant (there are only 3 possible options...) but were seated anyways. Leo, pronounced 'lei-oh' was so attentive all night, and chipper, and adorable, that we were grateful to be in the wrong place. Especially, since on top of that we were seated in a prime location for the local fire dancers to put on their show for us!

La Orana

Lei'ed

We both were

Well. I can honestly say I got lei'ed on my honeymoon! Success. After arriving at the airport, we were greeted by our nautical shuttle to go to the hotel. A quick ferry ride over the bluest water I've ever seen, and we pull into the hotel's pier, where we were again greeted by now a ukulele playing, towel wearing "Beach Boy" blowing a conch.

We had a bit of a wait to get in to our room, and chose to pass the time sitting in one place - overlooking the mountain peak, covered in the "shade" of fossilized tree (and thatched roof). Don't tell him I called him this, but my boss, Jay, bought Kat and I matching honeymoon sneaks for the wedding. Being a sneaker connoisseur, this was a very fantastic gift, and we spent a while wandering around taking pictures of our shoes.

Thanks Boss

Eventually, waiting for the room was too long to wait for room service anymore, and we decided to check out the pool side bar for lunch. This was where we were introduced to my favorite staff member so far. She taught us how to say "Hello" in the language here (I don't know what it is, maybe something Polynesian?) which is "La Orana". It kind of sounds like 'Ya-Rrron-a", although I'm certain I'm not saying it correctly most of the time. Probably stumbling into the proper pronunciation now and then, when I get it wrong.


Finally, we were found, playing pool by the Concierge desk, when we were finally approached to enter our room. Although it was so hot that I sweated through every inch of clothing, sitting around was definitely worth the wait. Spending the day in the shade, gave us a bit of time acclimate to the sun more. The following day, we met so many people that shared our ferry with us and were red as lobsters from spending the day swimming and stuff after being quickly reunited with their belongings. 

One quick golf cart ride to our cabin, and we were finally welcomed into the cool embrace of air conditioning again. Having finished the multiple days of travel, both Kat and I laid down to nap for days. We set an alarm for dinner, just in case (which Kat had to call about in the first place to make reservations, because my voice still didn't work...), but woke up with time enough to sit out on our patio, collecting photographs of the sun setting.

View from our private beach

Dinner was amazing. I was excited to have the squid ink, seafood linguine, because I have always wanted to try squid ink. As the dish arrived, Kat commented on how this was better than the last time we had it and it now had less of a grainy texture. Right... the last time we had this. I was there, it was at Eno Vino in Madison, I was excited then to also taste squid ink for the first time. I wonder how many first times I have tried squid ink?

Best view of the day

The end of our table over looked the fish-stocked lagoon. I'm sorry to say that I fed some small bites of bread to the swarms of coy that hovered hoping for different morsels. I felt almost at home, throwing popcorn to the fish off the bridge at the Henry Doorly zoo in Omaha (did you know my zoo is the 2nd best in the world, next to somewhere in China? I reminded Kat of this detail... again while we were at dinner.) All the while, the table next to us was loudly debating the way to say "Hello". We were serenaded with a chorus of "No, it's like 'Your Honor'" from the 3 couples of new found friends up the way. Not quite right grown-ups, but I guess I don't get it right either...

We Got "Robbed" in Bora Bora

Lost my spot already...

In preparing for our wedding, I asked countless newlywed couples if life felt different after being married. Some say nothing changed, while others acknowledged a kind of reinvigoration. I can safely say that waking up on Day 3 of marriage felt very similar to waking up the day before. I still have not recovered my voice from the wedding, my feet fall off with every step, and I'll never be hydrated again; but then I get to roll over and look at my Wife! which brings a level of calm and home that I hope never leaves.

Today we are leaving on the first of many travel days for our Honeymoon (and honestly, this post will follow the almost 3 days of "getting there".) The highlight of today is definitely waking up without an alarm for the first time in who knows how long. Obviously that means that at a bright and cheery 8:30... Kat and I are both in the kitchen making coffee and reviewing the never-ending lists.

In what will be a surprise to none, Kat was packed before we left for the wedding, and I'm just deciding what to put in my suitcases. I lug my large check bag back out (and then clean the rainbow suit, craft supplies, and therapy bands out) to start loading it up. First, the board games, then the puzzle, the frisbee, and finally - my first article of clothing - the water shoes. My first bag had only enough room for the alcohol, but I knew it was ready to go without anything else that I could wear.

Having a few final things to pick up, I left on a quick trip to the bank, gas station, target, woodmans, and of course Arby's, and returned I was ready to be home watching TV on the couch. Kat left anxiously to chop all her hair off, as I watched a goofy Korean drama, wondering about the amount of work still in front of me.

She returned to find me soaking in the tub, trying to heal my barking dogs before multiple days of travel. TRICK, I had also done all the things I was supposed to! Clothes sprayed for bugs, bags weighed and ready, kittens over-loved; we were all ready to go!

Dharma's Stoic Goodbye

Kat's mom, Mary, picked us up for the airport and the dog up for her sisters, and we were well on our way. I was excited to get to the Madison airport, because my favorite bartender proposed to his boyfriend in Hawaii since I last traveled and I was looking forward to seeing how it went. Sadly, it looked like he still hadn't returned from paradise, but then we were surprised by a visit when he said hello as we were closing out the tab to head for the gate :)

We flew firsties from Madison, to Salt Lake, to LA, and did our best to live it up. Snapping pics while boarding the plane, our pilot joined in the celebration by photo bombing and then congratulating us. Kat thought it fitting to celebrate our newly committed future by watching Frozen 2... next to her I viewed IT II - the reboot. Both of us asleep before the endings.

Our arrival in LA was insignificant. I booked an airport hotel for us to stay, thinking we'd leave at check-out and hang in the Sky Club for the rest of the day. Turns out LAX is more of an international hub than O'Hare or Detroit, and uses the international terminal for departures (instead of only arrivals). We arrive at the airport around 3:30 (8 hours early for our 11:30 flight) to find that the terminal didn't have a sky club AND that we couldn't check our bags until 8:30... Thank goodness a couple coworkers gifted us Phase 10, we were able to sit in a Planet Hollywood and play games for days while waiting to get through security.

After sound sleeps on the plane to Tahiti, our next adventure was getting through customs

Yes, I've done that...

and onto our puddle jumper to Bora Bora. Did I mention that I still had no voice and was sick leading up to the wedding? Tahiti has refused people form 14 different counties and was screening for Coronavirus immediately after getting off the plan. I stood there, sweating in my sweatshirt, in 90 degree / 1000% humidity, expecting to be turned around. Instead, the man took my paper, swiped my forehead temp, didn't ask me a thing to hear that I was hoarse, and let us on our way!!!!

The flight from Tahiti to Bora Bora was also stressful. We had heard (too late) that we could only have 1 checked bag and a small carry on due to the size of the plane and the need to weight balance the aircraft. I had 2 carry ons. We spent an eternity in line, without breeze or AC, waiting to get our boarding passes, evaluating everyone else and the amount bags they hauled along with. After an hour of worry, we reached the woman at the till, who apologized for charging me $10 to bring an extra bag, and everything was fine.

We arrived at the Marriott hotel around 10am, only to find that our room wouldn't be ready till almost 2pm. Even the wait in the ungodly heat couldn't have stopped us from being relaxed, relieved, and in love. At this point Kat turns to me and says "We've Arrived in Bora Bora". However, in true married couple fashion, I already can't listen and instead heard "We got Robbed in Bora Bora". Which was news to me.

The Recovery

Hey guess what!! I got married yesterday!!! And what a great day it was, everything came together, no big mishaps, and the love of my life woke up next to me this morning. We were so fortunate to get to celebrate with so many people, and even better spend a little more time with them at the morning brunch. 

Yeah, Kat's lucky...?

Getting out of bed though, woof. I went to stand on my feet and instantly fell to the ground. As I went to shout out in pain, no noise came out either. Definitely the sign of a good wedding to have lost your voice and your feet hurt in the morning. Even with that, Kat and I both stood to receive guests for most of the whole brunch. I think both of us worried that we were so tired that if we sat down we'd fall asleep in the chairs. I might have even slept standing for a moment or two.

Countless people showed up talking about different parts of the previous day, and I took solace in the fact that we probably got our monies worth from the all night open bar. JP summed it up best saying "A monumental amount of alcohol was consumed last night", but Lindsey was a close second when she woke up to find her roommate "glowing" since Autumn went to bed in her glow sticks.

Warriors 4ever

Packing up our room to leave was a monumental effort as well. I sat and stared at my belongings for a good 20 mins before finding the strength to get started collecting them. Eventually everything was contained, it almost too many bags to carry at once. Of course, we lacked the energy to make a 2nd trip, and therefore struggled to the elevators with all the belongings dragging behind. In spite of all this, it didn't feel right to leave the city without driving through campus and stopping by the rugby house. 

We arrived home to be greeted by 1 cat and 1 dog, of course Fil was no where to be found. Macs came in to save the day with some delicious dinner, delivered at 3:30. Followed by a sleep that only blesses the extremely tired (obviously something I've been familiar with on a few other, self-inflicted occasions.) 

While we expected to do some honeymoon prep rations this night, the most we could do was sit on the couch and open the gifts. What generosity from everyone! We were happy to have everyone join for the big day, and blessed to receive the love that was shared. It was probably correct to start marriage surrounded by love but in need of a bit of recovery; this way things can only get better, but we have all the tools required.

(^^^groan, cheezy...)

The Big Dance

The Guestbook

#KosLoveIsMauleYouNeed

I don't want to brag, but that is one of the best wedding hashtags of all times (definitely worth the $15 I paid to have someone brainstorm concepts for us). Today is the big day! After hiring Krista and Weddings with a Twist in October of 2017, followed by getting engaged in 2018, and the years of planning, we have arrived at Leap Day 2020.

I'm not going to say what time I got in last night, but I definitely woke in a panic that I drank too much and forgot the whole wedding. I Leapped out of bed (for Leap Day) thinking I couldn't remember dancing at my own wedding, or eating dinner, or even leaving the venue. Finally, recognized my bride was not sleeping next to me, like Ebeneezer Scrooge, and that I had been given a second chance at the day.

What should come as no surprise, my phone died the night before and I had no charger. I called Kat's room, asking for help getting in touch with my mom. The thing is... Mom isn't great at mornings, so receiving a text message that I needed her in my room at 7:30am was a bit jarring. In similar fashion of the day, Mom Leapped out of bed to come right over, and found me in the shower whistling and washing my hair. She went back to fetch me a phone charger, and we had a brief, quiet moment before everything picked up. I followed this up by watching Jim and Pam's wedding on The Office in an attempt to get some tears out ahead of everything else. (It didn't work. I only saw part 1, which isn't the endearing episode.)

It's good for the soul, Mom.

I was lucky to spend the morning getting ready with a bunch of dear friends. Jes, Jackie, Amber, Lindsey, Autumn, Mom, and later aunts and cousins came and went (Phaedra was missing, but teaching kids in a different country is a good excuse.) A few friends looking a bit haggered, but some vitamin drink and champagne cured all the ails. We laughed about the night before, having children, going camping, sports, and countless memories that I've formed with all these wonderful women while getting our make-up done by Team Bride MKE. Right as things were wrapping up, DanniBoi comes in with some Siren classics, which lead to a favorite memory of the day.

Now, I don't want to admit it, but I hadn't written my vows on paper yet. I had a brief moment to compile my thoughts after Sally and Milwaukee Flower Company dropped off my bouquet, but the only paper I could find was the brown construction paper from my work bag (yes, I keep construction paper in my work bag.) By this point, I had planned what to say on numerous occasions, but Kat woke herself up - crying - because she wrote her vows, remembered them, and wrote them down one night. It was a lot to compete with. Thinking of everything Kat means to me and the future we will continue to share started tugging at the heart strings. By the time the DeGroot came to my room, I was sobbing, trying to get dressed, and trying to convince my mom "that I'm just a soft hearted person and these are happy tears". Needless to say, I was late to the first look.

Full of angst, I closed my eyes and waited for my bride to come find me outdoors. And by closed or waited, I mean I mostly had my eyes wide open, constantly turning around asking when Kat was coming and when I really really needed to be ready for her arrival. It was about at that moment that I heard her voice in my ear, letting me know that she was already here. I was so happy to have her by my side, that I don't think I even saw her during our first look. Instead I pulled her close for support and a kiss, until I was eventually ready to see my stunning bride to be and her unique dress. 

Places to be

The wedding party rode to the Pritzlaff in an Uber XL and were quickly ushered into the bridal suite downstairs after a few photos. Here's where the nerves started to set in. I sat reading and re-reading my vows, until finally deciding to send Jake for some wine from the bar. The five of us had another moment of quiet, listening to footsteps above, and preparing for the big moment. Suddenly, Krista appeared downstairs telling us it was time, and I started the walk that would culminate with me committing myself to Kat for the rest of our lives.

So Gay. Perfect!

After this, the rest of the night was a blurr. I think I cried, I think Kat cried, I think almost everyone teared up at different points. I quoted Friends - out of love for my wife, Kat broke a glass, we took pictures on the roof, greeted guests at the bar, dined on swordfish and steak from Zilli's, cut a tie dyed cake from Astier Confections, drank, listened to speeches from our siblings and parents, talked, danced, and sang along with the Piano Fondue (and later Ireland with the Marquette Rugby crew - a highlight of the day for me). The Chuppa was lit in a rainbow of colors, which was a cool, thoughtful detail that we hadn't discussed with Double Platinum DJ. 

I rode our MKE Shuttle back to the Westin with one other person after cleaning up the rest of the venue. I found 1 bonus jacket, turns out it was my cousin Daniel's. Good thing he goes to school in Madison, it will be easy to return. Finally, I closed down the hotel bar after spending some time with our vet's wife and my rugby friends. What a night, couldn't have asked for a better day! And I can't wait to see the vid to remember all the other things that I couldn't digest in a day full of so much wonderful.